Pollo Colorado (Chicken in Spicy Red Chile Sauce)

Look, I'm smack dab in the middle of finals, so this is gonna be pretty brief. I probably shouldn't be doing this at all, but it's a hell of a lot more entertaining than looking over my Evidence outline again, so here we go.

P.S. If any of my pictures look strange, it's because my camera's been acting wonky since I spilled coke and vodka all over it a while back. Don't ask.

Pollo Colorado (Chicken in Spicy Red Chile Sauce)

Source: My slow cooker cookbook. Shocker, I know.

Ingredients:

- 2 medium size yellow onions, peeled
- 2 medium-size red bell peppers, seeded
- 3 large or 4 medium-size individually frozen boneless, skinless chicken breasts (Don't thaw 'em)
- One 28-ounce can hot red chile sauce, or if Giant Eagle is stupid and doesn't have one of these, just go for three 10-ounce cans. I win at math.

The Cookin':

Chop your veggies up into roughly 3/4-inch pieces. Toss 'em in the pot, then toss them around to mix well. Throw the chicken breasts on top. I decided to use four big 'uns (In direct defiance of the recipe) because, well, I wanted a lot of leftovers. Look, it's going to be a realllllly long week. DON'T JUDGE ME.

Finally, dump all the sauce over everything.

Cook this monster on low for 5-7 hours (I did seven because I wanted to be sure the chicken was cooked). While it's cooking, you could be like me and spend seven hours in LAW STUDENT HELL.

"You like finals, eh? WELL HAVE ALLLL THE FINALS IN THE WOORRRLD!"

Or if you're a sane person, you could do, I don't know, anything else. Anyway, seven hours later and the entire floor of my apartment building smelled of sweet sweet enchilada sauce.

The last time I made this, I had to take out the chicken breasts, slice them up, and put them back in. This time, though, they were tender enough for me to just mash with a spoon and make them fall apart.

Finally, time for some dinner. It was pretty good! Pretty spicy, which is nice when it's Hoth-esque outside, and it'll make for some great leftovers when I've lost all manner of sanity and can't cook for myself. But for now, it's time to kick back and rela...

Fuck.

Sinus Bustin' North Indian Vegetarian Chili

Well, it's starting to cool down down around here. It was in the low 30s when I was waiting for the bus this morning, which means it's only a few weeks until Pittsburgh starts to look like this:

Ok, so there probably won't be AT-ATs (unless the Port Authority answers my numerous requests for one), but it's going to be fucking cold. I decided it was time for something spicy to counteract the freezing hellhole outside my windows, so I decided it was time for some chili. Not the usual chili I make, though, because I've also had a hankering for some Indian food. Thankfully, one of my cookbooks had a nice mixture of the two. Plus, it could be made using my handy-dandy crock pot (I swear, the next thing I post will be made on my stove/oven). So without further ado...

Sinus Bustin' North Indian Vegetarian Chili

Recipe Source: Not Your Mother's Slow Cooker Cookbook (It rules. Buy it.)
Some Recommended Kitchen Music: Chaiyya Chaiyya Bollywood Joint - Terence Blanchard

Ingredients:

2 tablespooons olive oil
2 medium-size red onions, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons ginger
1 to 2 14.5 oz cans of chopped jalapenos
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1.25 teaspoons ground cumin
.5 teaspoon cayenne pepper (I put in a full teaspoon because I'm a maverick/idiot)
.25 teaspoon turmeric
1 14.5-oz can diced tomatoes, with their juice
3 tablespoons tomato paste
1 cup water
Three 15-oz cans red kidney beans, rinsed and drained (So you don't become Mr. or Ms. Fartypants)
.5 teaspoon salt, or to taste
.5 cup evaporated milk or heavy cream

FOR SERVING (If you really care. I didn't):
Chopped red onion
Chopped fresh cilantro
Plain yogurt
Warm chapatis (Someone fill me in on what these are, because Giant Eagle sure as shit didn't know)


The Cookin':

You're going to wanna start by heating up your olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat, and then throw in your onions...

... Until they look like this!

Now for the fun part. Add in the garlic, ginger, jalapenos, and all the spices. Cook, stirring, 'til the onions are nice and browned.

Note: This smelled pretty darn good. Now, throw this mixture into your crock pot, and then add the tomatoes with their juice, tomato paste, water and kidney beans. Stir it around to combine, then cover and cook on low for 5 to 6 hours. Now go do something else for a while, you sleazy lowlives. Go on!

When that's finished, stir in the salt and evaporated milk/heavy cream, cover and keep cooking on low for another 30 minutes.

Aaaaand theeeennnn...

Yup. It's glorious. It's wonderful. I'm hungry. Let's eat. Let me throw it in a bowl and scarf down a mouthful...

YAHHHHHH HOT HOT HOT SPICY HOT HOT. Very much regretting not buying any yogurt at this point! Tasty as hell, but woooooooo my mouth was on fire. Did a great job of clearing out my sinuses, and I breathed clear and easy for several days after eating this (The leftovers helped in this department).

What better way to accompany some ridiculously spicy Indian food than some Doctor Who? Stop looking at me like that.



I think if I make this again, I'll cut back on a cayenne pepper a wee bit, but it'll definitely happen when it becomes a frozen wasteland outside.

Rating: 8/10