Lentil and Bacon Soup

SOUP TIME, Y'ALL.

So this past week, I went to a screening of Man of Steel, and it was about as much goofy fun a I expected (ACTIVATE THE WORLD ENGINE). However, it turns out that staying up really late on a weeknight to see a movie wreaks havoc on me the next day. I felt like garbage and needed something relatively easy to make without needing a ton of stuff from the store. I knew there was a bag of lentils that had been sitting in my pantry for ages, so I googled around for a lentil soup recipe, and lo and behold!

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup finely chopped onion
1/2 cup finely chopped carrot
1/2 cup finely chopped celery
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 pound lentils, picked and rinsed
1 cup peeled and chopped tomatoes
2 quarts chicken or vegetable broth
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground toasted cumin
6 slices diced turkey bacon
A PHANTOM DRIVE (Note: Not really)

Process:

First, dice up all of your veggies. I know the ingredients don't ask for a ton, but in this house we subscribe to the James Franco School of Cooking


Why don't you super size it 

So there we've probably got about five or six carrots, a whole celery heart, and two onions. Perfect. Now, I figured that since the original recipe didn't call for any meat, I'd improvise a little. 3 minutes in the microwave later...

Ahhh, now we're cooking with something akin to gas. Now throw in all of your veggies into a big ol' 6-quart pot and and let them sauté until the onions get translucent.

Then throw in everything else and let it come to a boil.

Cover it with a lid, reduce your heat to low and let it simmer for about 35-40 minutes. I had to hunt down my lid for this pot, and it turned out to be buried underneath a pile of empty grocery bags, and had been for a long time. It was pretty nasty looking, and then of course I turn it over and look at the bottom and OH GOD SPIDERS.

So yeah, had to improvise a bit there and use a lid that was way too big, but had the added benefit of having not been touched by nightmare creatures. After that debacle, it was time to figure out a way to forget about SPIDERFEST 2013. Let's check in with Superman for any ideas.

The man makes a solid point.

So 40 minutes later, let's check up on the soup.

That'll do, pig. If you want, you can blend it a bit with an immersible blender, but I only used it for about three seconds before I realized it'd probably be better without it. Ladle it out into a bowl and crack a little pepper into it (or toss some sriracha in there if you're feeling adventurous), and you're all set to go!

Verdict:

Oh boy, this one is a keeper. One and a half bowls kept me full all night, and the leftovers have made for great lunches for the past five days. It'd probably work even better during the winter. Pairs well with shows about the failings of American institutions.

Mediterranean Chicken

Does anyone in this family even know what a chicken tastes like?

Long time no see, folks! Much like Arrested Development, I have returned. Since the last time this blog existed, I graduated law school, passed the bar exam, and made money. So has the crockpot been used since the last time I posted on here? Yeah, a few times, but it's seen better days.

Some melting may have occurred. Long story. ANYHOO, because Arrested Development came back today, I decided to fix up a super easy chicken dish so I could use as many chicken dance gifs as possible.

That's better. On with the show!

Mediterranean Chicken

Ingredients:

2 cups sliced fresh mushrooms

1 14.5 oz can of diced tomatoes

1 8 or 9 oz package of frozen artichoke hearts

1 cup of chicken broth

1 medium onion, chopped

1/2 cup sliced olives or 1/4 cup of capers, drained

1/2 cup dry white whine or chicken broth (I used chicken broth, because I'm cheap like that)

3 tablespoons quick-cooking tapioca

2-3 teaspoons curry powder

3/4 teaspoon dried thyme

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1.5 lbs skinless, boneless chicken breasts

1/2 teaspoon herbs de provence

Some quinoa because why not

The Process:

Dump the mushrooms, undrained tomatoes, frozen artichoke hearts, chicken broth, onion, olives or capers and wine/broth into the crockpot and stir it around.

And then toss in the tapioca, curry powder, thyme, salt, and pepper. STIR, DAMN YOU.

Finally, throw in the chicken and spoon some of the veggie mixture over them.

Cover it up and cook on low for 7-8 hours, or high for 3.5-4 hours. Go have a productive day! Or do what I did and watch Star Trek movies/Arrested Development episodes. One day you too can be as cool as I am.

Anyway, let's check back on the food!

Oh my, yes. Heat up some quinoa to serve with the chicken aaaaand

The Verdict:

Let's go to noted food critic James Cromwell. James, what do you think?

Agreed. The curry powder and herbs de provence really added a distinctive and delicious flavor, and you guys, there's so many leftovers. Pair with a cop movie because why not.